and i am not.cant remember the last time i struggled so long with self issues.
i dont think i ever did feel so useless for such a long time before.
im tired of being a jack of all trades, master of none.
i have a problem. with my self-esteem and self-confidence. how can i see things in a different perspective? how can i feel good about myself?
and i find it so hard to tell.
because they are too unreasonable & unacceptable to be made reasons for my behaviour. and far too insignificant in the face of...other problems.
i cant feel this insecurity with myself.
cant let this take control of my emotions. it's spoiling everything.
i made you mad.& that's the second last thing i would wanna do. the last would be to make you sad.
my last pathetic tries of redemption were a sad failure.
another wasted night. robbed of its goodbye kiss.
i am a spoiler. argh.
this wont do.
how can i embrace the fact that i am an unique individual
focus on my strengths? but wait, what am i good at? is there even anything that i excel in? haha.
or do i just have too high expectations of myself
or i just think too much
making a mountain out of a molehill.
and it's irritating. totally.
i
will must deal with it.
but how?Labels: 25061988
