GIVE ME BACK HAPPY.
3:19 AM
let's talk.
but then again. i have nothing to say. maybe nothing nice to say, to be precise.
what's this annoying crap im feeling these days?
i want it to go away! SHOOOOOOooooooooooo. urk.
call me idiotic but
sometimes i get a bit nostalgic.
on what? here's the annoying part:
of being hopelessly depressed because of... here's the other annoying part:
love.it might actually have developed into a habit in the past. like it was a perfectly natural and normal thing to always be emomomo. yea something that has grown into me. and suddenly i broke free of it and get to enjoy happiness for an unbelievably long lasting period. and it felt good. but strangely unfamiliar. & sometimes being happy all the time makes happiness underrated and ....normal.
& strangely enough, sometimes i actually miss feeling sad a bit. perhaps just to experience the highs and lows of life once more. or maybe im just a drama queen and i prefer life with its occasional doses of drama. or maybe i just wanna feel sad to feel happiness at its best.
i think im just annoying because all these is extremely uncalled for.
so anyhow, i really feel like crap these days. like really really! haha! that all-too-familiar feeling is back! rejoice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT.i dont want it back! at all. just a little bit of it and im thoroughly sick of it alr. so there, i dont want sad drama! i dont want the lows! i dont need all these to feel over the moon!
i hate this feeling!
uncalled for uncalled for uncalled forrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
GIVE ME BACK MY HAPPY!ARGHHHHHHH!!!
i am so annoying.
:) <-------now watch me disfigure & destroy that bloody smiley like im ripping a piece of paper apart, then rummaging through the debris searching for even the smallest piece possible to shred and shred and shred and SHREDDDDD to remove every teeny weeny trace of it from this earth. there can be not even the slightest hint of its pathetic existence!i am so violent, sick and sadistic.
:(
ARGHHHHHHHH WHATEVER.
just...GIVE ME BACK MY HAPPY!!!!!!
$#^%$^#@$%!!
Labels: 25061988, paper shoes
12:06 AM
one hour at parkway parade and 80 over bucks gone.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i hate myself!
and none of the 80 was spent on clothes! WTH!
give me back my money!!!
i need a job that yields 80 per hour!
Labels: random
imma TALENT.
7:53 PM
lookie!
CAESAR SALAD!
proudly prepared by yours truly.
hehehehehe HEH!
imma good cook :D
off to parkway
IM SO LAZYYYY
grr.
BYE.
Labels: random
to gain immunity
12:04 AM
been watching huanhuanai lately. & crying my eyes swollen because of it!
& i have a bad flu. bahh. what luck. but i think it's probably good luck. because i fell sick only after the exams :)
busted 200 over bucks yest at fep. i am broke. and sick. and tired.
good night.
just bend the pieces till they fit, like they were made for it.
Labels: 25061988, random
10:00 PM
this is so so so yesterday. haha
kaiwei's bdae celebration at traders hotel on someday i cant remember when.
haha. anyway he treated us. nice. :)
i ate like a pig. as usual sigh.
Labels: birthday, friends
9:20 PM
RETAIL THERAPY @ Nanyang Mart
with my roomie.
NTU's very own shopping centre.
i only want that raspberry shortbread.
it's so pretty hehe
tastes pretty damn good too.
Labels: random
girls suck.
6:18 PM
1530 22nd Nov marks the end of sem 1.
im supposed to be happy-->exhilarated--->ecstatic..whatever you can name.
but im not.
& that kinda suck. because i want to be happy. simple as that.
i feel so....lost?
no not because i miss mugging alr as stated in my stupid nick. i dont miss mugging one bit. i prefer sitting here lazy surfing around the net.
im thinking about IHG. about how come people like to bother you when you dont ever step on their toes. about how i miss my friends. about how ive come to today. how my life for the past few months just revolved around my roomie and my boyfriend. every single day. not that im sick of it, i dont think i'll ever be because i love them loads.
did i ever mention im glad to have zixian as my roomie? haha. at first i was a bit doubtful, cause i was afraid of personality clashes and disagreements. but hell no, none of that happened. in fact it was the other way round, great company, compromises and a gossip venue coupled with heart-to-heart talks through the night.
anyway back to my point. "not that im sick of it yadayada.." but zx mentioned "i miss tj" and it suddenly occurred to me how routine and boring my life has been. maybe it's the exams. yea it IS because of the exams. hrmm need some love now. i wanna be happy, crazy and high! maybe it's the headache. bugger. paracetamol. nah. i actually dont eat panadols la. haha.
wow my dear roomie just packed her stuff. so neat?!?! omg something new.....
next up...revitalise the softboard?!
hahaha!
"when you feel like hope is gone..look inside you and be strong..":(
during the exam period, all i could think of was all the post-exam plans
and now. i feel far too lazy to go about doing any of them.
im so weak. :
sigh im not a friendly person. im usually not very keen to start a conversation unless im really close to you. or unless im really chirpy and talkative and cranky that day. or unless i really really really like you. or unless i make an effort to. yea im just a too living-in-your-own-world kind of person. make an effort to.....talk to people. maybe i should do that more often. haha.
urgh im hungry.
& i really want to be happy.
and be inspired.
and not be judged.
and be a better & nicer person.
and to excel in something.
and to have a super hot body. (HAhahahahaha!)
i think it's the headache.
dont ask me anything.
Labels: 25061988
overdue post
6:48 PM
i will never let you falli'll stand up with you foreveri'll be there for you through it alleven if saving you sends me to heavenLabels: lovestoned
6:42 PM
because you dont matter to me. anymore.Labels: 25061988
Cab Blogging
6:03 PM
It’s 5.05pm now and im on my way back to hall. Yea on a Saturday afternoon,
Oooo I just passed by the giant ferris wheel. Maybe I can take it after the exams. Hrmm.
Maybe I can go shopping at far east after the exams. And also maybe I can finally stay home and watch 10 hours of TV after exams.
Tempting. Very dreamy. Well two more weeks. These are visions not too far away :)
Many a time, I had the urge to blog. But about very random stuff that don’t really matter. So I decided not to since it’ll waste too much time.
Now instead of sleeping in the cab, I shall blog! Consolidate all the random things that ran through my random mind these few days and create a very random post! (i wonder how long the labels for this post are gonna be..hrmm)
1. I went home to find 3 new comics! And 2 Bleach! MY FAV! Ahh. How to resist? I told myself not to read them until the end of exams, yet another post-exam dream.
But I finished those 2 bleach anyway, when I went for daddy’s birthday dinner. hEHEHE.
2. Friday was my daddy’s birthday. Went to ECP to eat on Thursday night. Had “xiao hong lou” cause Jumbo’s queue was erm magnificient. Haha
The crab was DAMN GOOD. Mmm….someday after exams, maybe we can do it again. Hrmmhrmm..
anyway bought daddy nice liqour chocolate. so cool right. i think ange loves it alot? :p
on his birthday... daddy cooked dinner for us! HAHA. it was a spread! i love it! Homecooked food! :D
3. meanwhile my mother and I went to parkway parade for some shopping and shoe repair.
In the midst of exams preparation, I went shopping. A divine waste of time and money. Definitely unforgivable. But oh well what’s done’s done.
So I got a new top from topshop. What! I had 20 dollars worth of voucher and there’s a deadline attached to them. I had to find something to buy from topshop!
And I settled for a $83 top. Again. I question is it worth it and rational to buy an 83 bucks top just like that, from top shop. No actually, not very worth it. But mummy was already paying while I was debating with myself, and so be it. I need to go to fareast, to get more stuff with $83. Grumbles.
Wow the cab is fast. I feel like puking.
4. I haven’t been very constructive these few days. And at home I am treated like royalty. :D
I keep getting fed by my parents and I never ever get scolded for anything! Of course it’s also due to the fact that im a very good daughter heh.
Daddy’s birthday cake is a chocolate cake. A very nice chocolate cake. And it’s in the fridge. And I couldnt stop thinking about it whenever im studying. So you see me make very frequent trips to the kitchen, nibble nibble nibble. Haha.
AH I’m a pig. Infinitesimal self-control on food. Indeed.
5. Check this out. My dan bai bf’s toilet is full of freebies from goody bags. Hahaha. Half of them are probably contributions from my roomie and i. LOL.
6. Around a year ago, while preparing for A-levels, shimin and wormie came to my house to “study”. I took a short nap and woke to find post it notes all over my room. Machiam playing cluedo, looking for “clues” all over the place. Today, a year later, one post-it note survives. The one on the door.
I miss the old days and I miss my friends.
If you see a lot of bangla roaming the streets, you know you’re in Jurong. Yea “Jurong West”, bingo~
Just a while more, my dan bai bf is near. :)
7. On Thursday morning, I woke up and decided to prepare for myself 2 half-boiled eggs for breakfast.
THEY TURNED OUT PERFECT.
Sigh~ be proud..The one I ate at the coffee shop cant even compare. *smirks*
8. Ive been thinking…I can name you 101 things I cant stand about my mother and the number of times I get irritated with her is infinite.
But the amount of love I have for her is immeasurable and beyond words. I guess that’s the true meaning of unconditional love.
And I guess I probably can name 9945674369604 things I love about my mother. But even if I cant and can only name 10, the amount of love remains.
I want to love you like that. :)
Oh am I reaching NTU alr? Cool.
Just in time for me to puke.
Labels: birthday, friends, lovestoned, random, sunshine makes me smile
GRADES-sensitivity
12:49 PM
i am portrayed as the slacker. the one who doesnt study. the one who sleeps and oversleeps alot. the one who plays a lot. the one who skips lessons a lot.
and when i get A for my first stats quiz and A+ for my second stats quiz, i get comments like "you got study say you never study!" and "aiya you dont need to study also can get A one la".
they may just be casual remarks from friends but i believe they are emerging perceptions of me.
pretty disturbing. i dont think i did say i didnt study for my stats quiz? i did do my tutorials for this quiz. just not on time. just last minute.
i remember ys used to tell me that ycr commented that i changed and became super hardworking/mugger in JC. super hardworking&mugger?--->not true if observations are made based on just the 2 years in JC and if comparisons are made with JC people. however, extremely true if comparisons are made with my last 2 years in DHS (because i was a true blue play & sleep-hard "student" in secondary school).
I guess that's the problem with people. Not really a problem, just the natural cognitive structure of the human mind. From the start of university life, i havent been turning up at tutorials with my work done or reading the textbook until recently and before stats quizzes. and i do complain about not studying and all that, like every student does. and i skip a hell lot of lessons. hahaha.
Friends' perceptions of me as a slacker were probably reinforced by all these factors. And when i get A for stats, they think i lied when i said i didnt study :(. when in fact i didnt say i didnt study! i just didnt say i did my tutorials. you didnt ask! and im not even close to some!
so now i announce to the whole wide world...I DID DO MY TUTORIALS FOR THE 2ND STATS QUIZ. (just like many others! and yea just not on time.. like all you people! why fault me for that?) hahahaha. no im not angry or offended. just you know...thinking and wondering and yea. a bit affected. :p
aiya.
self-consciousness.
go away lar.
Labels: results, school
