hey it's 2.38pm and i just woke up
from something pretty haunting, something turning history.
i was back to how it felt like when i was seventeen
cold, afraid, angry, taken forgranted, very alone.
i didnt quite picture you in my dreams, maybe i havent seen you for too long.
but everything that happened
was without a doubt, what you used to do to me.
the endless waitings in your room
the cold treatment which i'll never wish to relive
my exit from your house alone, trying but always failing to control the tears
and now i recall the long quiet walks along the streets of tampines
how people stop and stare at this sniffing, tearful girl. hahaha.
i cant believe i dreamt of something so yesterday.
i woke up feeling so damn hurt and so confused and...i just started to cry.
"haunting"- that was the first word that came to me
and for a moment, i was really lost. in time and memory.
maybe we ended everything in a bad note and the last thing i felt was pain.
and now, the bitter moments seem to appear more vivid than the good times.
it took me a while to pull myself back to september 2007.
where you're not the man in my life anymore. (but still, thanks for the memories, both the good and the bad. ive learnt a lot.)
where there's someone else.
someone who never makes me cry.
who made me smile and laugh so hard i forgot how it feels like to hurt so much.
who's always always there for me no matter what.
who denys me the "joy" of travelling alone. hahaha.
ok enough. listing will be neverending and too sugary it'll be diabetic. hahaha!
a new beginning.
i can, i want to and i will do this.
:)
