why did you have to go?
i am so frustrated so down so distracted. i think i havent really accepted the fact that you're gone. forever. the loss, the slow painful death. it's so heartwrenching. hurts so bad. these few mornings i wake up to reality, reminding myself that you're really gone. & i just lied in bed, refused to let life go on. but it's all over, there's nothing left to be done.
I've got to be honest
I think you know
We're covered in lies and that's OK
There's somewhere beyond this I know
But I hope I can find the words to say
Never again no
No never again
'Cause you're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
That you would know
You're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
I'd let you go
hrm this the first song you sent me? i cant really remember. just you used to tell me about this song. you were so nice so sweet so funny. the first time i talked to you on the phone i couldnt even catch what you were saying. you bought me BK for breakfast. i thought the way you held fries was really nice. haha. watched duplex. & i lost the ticket just by walking from the ticket booth to the entrance of the cinema. waited for me the whole day during my competition. carried my ZR around for me. and all the cafe cartel and mac jokes. got asked during co interview "heard a lot of girls like you, what do you think about it?" HAHA. & always getting caught by kiw just like me lol. getting into trouble with ttk but got off so easily. lucky shit. even bluffed me cause it was april's fool and i really got fooled.
but why so foolish now. where did you get all that courage from
maybe it's really better for you. nobody will ever know.
& if it is. take care.
you'll always be loved and missed.
& never. ever forgotten.
3/3/2006.
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i think i might be falling sick. been having headaches lately and 've been coughing. and my heart pumps so fast i dont know why. longyu says grieve? my memory is failing me. i cant seem to remember what i said just a moment ago.
i climbed home again today. for the 3rd time. what is so wrong with that dumb gate?
it's so hard to deal with. esp when you're alone.
i dont wanna come home to an empty house...
sinking in.
